Friday, January 15, 2010

Qu Eenglix Laangwij

Ever sins Zander storted skwixeeng leterz tuugeqer intuu werds a fyuu munqs ugoo, II'v bin qeenkeeng qat Eenglix speleeng needz a cumpleet ooverhol. Az Zander haz triid tuu riit werdz funetiklee, I'v nootist qat hee'z on tuu sumqeeng.

Ferst uv ol, wee ol noo qat qu speleeng ov vauwul saundz iz unprudiktubel. I hav u suluuxun! Wen qaar iz just wun vauwul, it maaks qu xoort vauwul saund qat wee ol noo and luv. Dubel vauwels wil nau maak qu long vauwul saund.

Sins "c" iz tootulee reedundunt with its sumtiimz [s] sumtiimz [k] nonsens, "c" wil nau maak qu saund foormerlee maad bii "ch." Cildren evereewaar wil fiind it for simpler. "G" wil noo longer maak the saund olredee taaken kaar uv bii "j." Similerlee, "s" wil not be ulaud to saa [z]. And "q" iz raqer yuusless sins it kan kwiklee bee reeplaast. "Q" will nau maak qu saund preeveeuslee maad bii "th." "X" kan eezilee bee kuverd bii "ks," "gz," and "z," soo "x" wil reeplaas "sh." Wee wil need to canj qu alfubet song, tuu. Konsununts wil bee called bii qaar saund folood bii [ee]. Foor egzampul, wen yuu see "q," yuu xud kol it "thee" (riten in oold Eenglix). Qees caanjus maa taak sum geteeng yuust tuu, but kidz and fooreners uliik xud upreexeeaat it in qu long run!

10 comments:

Mark + Tiffany said...

If it took you the amount of time to write this as it did for me to read, then you spent a long time on this! Good point, though :)

Matthew K said...

Ju ʃʌd ʤʌst swɩʧ tu Rʌʃɩn ōr tu jusɪɳ ɗʌ fʌnetɪk alfʌbet.

Disclaimer: It has been a while since I have used the phonetic alphabet and I could not find some of the symbols that I was looking for. So I am pretty sure that I am not 100% correct on the spelling, but it is probably somewhat close.

Tara said...

I love your sense of humor - at first I thought your computer must have some weird virus. :)

The Dahle Family said...

Yikes, Matt, it has been way too long since I've used the phonetic alphabet! But yes, using the phonetic alphabet would be another valid solution to our problem of English spelling. And I'm OK with the fact that I have a nerdy sense of humor best understood by other linguitics lovers like Matt.

The Easton Family said...

that totally made my head hurt.

Sarah said...

Ha! You have some good points but it would take a while for me to get used to reading like that. I agree, we have a lot of useless letters!
Thanks for the tip about the game! We'll have to try it. Benjamin loves new games.

Mirien said...

Nothing like helping a child learn how to read to make you realize how mixed up our language is. Yet, somehow they still learn it.

Mitchell said...

http://www.truespel.com/en/

i hope you used a program like that to do that. I sure didn't take the time to try and decipher your message.

jessica said...

I haven't seen such great phonetic work since I taught 2nd grade...nice:)

merathon said...

translation, please? i got a headache a few words into that...